Sick all the damn time!

So, I'm sick all the time! Yay! You guessed exactly what this post would be about. Riddled with illness, fatigue, and overall, ick-ness, you would think I was like 70 years old. Nope. Just young and sick all the time. Fuck me running.

My latest bout with the sick-side, has been a gnawing, cramping, nasty-ass (pun intended) tummy bug. If I dare to look at food, think about food, or even walk through the damn kitchen, my tummy reacts violently. This has been my day:

Tummy: Hey, she just walked by the fridge, GET HER! (Tummy cramps uncontrollably, lower intestines feel whooshy, flop sweat begins.)

Me: Oh, ugh. (Bend over, grasp the counter, try to hold butt cheeks firmly together and ride out the cramp....)

Tummy: Ha, ha, just kidding you're fine now! We are all fine down here, promise.

Me: Whew! Guess that was a false alarm. Okay, now where is that grocery list?

Tummy: Did you say "grocery?!" as in food? Oh, no you dident! (Recommence tummy cramp, lower intestine whoosh!)

Me: Fuck. I'm never getting out of this house. (Hobble to bathroom.)

So, there you go. That has been my day. Okay, so I did the get the kids to school, do a couple loads of laundry, and manage to bawl my head off at Jane Erye, but still, I'm stuck here!!!

My list of "To Do's" (not groceries, not groceries) is sitting here next to me, mocking me. I can hear it whisper, ".... you will never get this stuff done. Never. No, don't look at me! I will tell Tummy, and he will so kick your ass!"

I give up. I think I have Dances with Wolves saved on the DVR. I should be fine company this evening, no?  Somebody should warn my husband.

Better Days Ahead.....

So, it's a new day. The test is over. The weekend approaches. I think I'll make it through another minute, another hour, another day.....

I'm working at day care today. There is nothing as sweet as being loved by children - even when they are not your own. Play-doh, popcorn, outside time, lunch, nap time (my fave!) - the day cruises by with lots of smiles, some cries, and lots of laughs. I wipe noses, sweep up leaves, and chase the baby - a naughty little girl with trouble in her veins. She's fast, but she loves to be held and I love to hold. My little girl gives me big smoochie kisses and makes me so very proud. My big boy is at school - growing up so very fast. Yep, life is alright.

I'm still exhausted and have a bit of school left, but I can deal. The sun is shining and belies the early December date on the calendar. I have lots of knitting to finish, a couple of gifts to buy and I have to get the kids' pictures taken. If you never gone to JC Penny or Sears to have your kids' pictures taken, I can only say it rivals Chinese water torture in pain and duration. I am avoiding it like the plague but Grandma keeps nagging and I'll have to get it done this weekend. Wish me luck!

I'm off to study - 3 quarters of anatomy and physiology - the last 10 months of my life - in one final next week. INSANE. That's a pretty good word for it. More fine print in my pursuit of my nursing degree. Fucking details.

One last thought - I had a great dream the other night about Gordon Ramsey - the Hell's Kitchen chef. Oooh, I've got a ridiculous crush on him. Don't judge me - I've got a thing for the perfectionists, the assholes, the odd balls, the nerds, even.

Kisses!

Bitch Fest, Dec 4, 08

Welcome to my blog. I'm not in a very good mood right now and it seemed like a perfect time to blog. I am sitting in the library at my school (college) with the sun on my back, headphones on listening to Jimmy Hendrix, and my life is pretty damn good. It's the fine print that fucking sucks!

See, while I sit here, I am two hours from my final exam in my anatomy and physiology class. I'm a perfectionist and have maintained my perfect A grade thru all my classes. I'm not feeling real good about this exam. Too much going on right now.

In addition to my impending exam, I am having a bad back day. That's how I define my days - good back days, bad back days. Today, my back is pissed off at me and is giving me the 'what for'! I don't really want to take a vicadin and get too relaxed before my test, so I took have a Xanax. Back still hurts, but I don't care as much now!!

My kids are wonderful, my husband loves me, we have a wonderful Christmas season of festivities coming. My dad is coming to visit. We already have the tree up. See? All seems well in my little life. It's the fucking fine print.

We are living on the generosity of family right now. I had to stop working at my in-home health care job a couple of months ago - that's a whole mess not worth discussing right now - partly because my back just can't take it. So, we are broke. My hubby works his ass off and has a great job, with benefits, but we just can't afford our life with me not working.

I got a horrible call this afternoon informing that I am not getting the job that I REALLY wanted at the hospital. Oh, well, it went to someone with more experience. All I can do is keep trying. I applied for a couple more positions today.

It doesn't help that the economy is in the shitter and we like so many family have a huge mortgage payment that just adjusted and we can't afford it. Of course, the mortgage company won't help you out until you are two months behind and I just can't let it get that bad. So, my family have helped us make two months worth of payments.

It would just kill my kids to leave their house. I've looked into bankruptcy, but that really sucks. So, we just wait for me to get a job - and hope and hope and hope.......

I best get back to studying. It's all multiple choice, so the answers are all there - I just gotta find the right one. I won't even think about how much more school work I have for the next week. Right now, the stress of this test, our impending destitution, and my constant pain, is plenty for right now.