Welcome to my blog. I'm not in a very good mood right now and it seemed like a perfect time to blog. I am sitting in the library at my school (college) with the sun on my back, headphones on listening to Jimmy Hendrix, and my life is pretty damn good. It's the fine print that fucking sucks!
See, while I sit here, I am two hours from my final exam in my anatomy and physiology class. I'm a perfectionist and have maintained my perfect A grade thru all my classes. I'm not feeling real good about this exam. Too much going on right now.
In addition to my impending exam, I am having a bad back day. That's how I define my days - good back days, bad back days. Today, my back is pissed off at me and is giving me the 'what for'! I don't really want to take a vicadin and get too relaxed before my test, so I took have a Xanax. Back still hurts, but I don't care as much now!!
My kids are wonderful, my husband loves me, we have a wonderful Christmas season of festivities coming. My dad is coming to visit. We already have the tree up. See? All seems well in my little life. It's the fucking fine print.
We are living on the generosity of family right now. I had to stop working at my in-home health care job a couple of months ago - that's a whole mess not worth discussing right now - partly because my back just can't take it. So, we are broke. My hubby works his ass off and has a great job, with benefits, but we just can't afford our life with me not working.
I got a horrible call this afternoon informing that I am not getting the job that I REALLY wanted at the hospital. Oh, well, it went to someone with more experience. All I can do is keep trying. I applied for a couple more positions today.
It doesn't help that the economy is in the shitter and we like so many family have a huge mortgage payment that just adjusted and we can't afford it. Of course, the mortgage company won't help you out until you are two months behind and I just can't let it get that bad. So, my family have helped us make two months worth of payments.
It would just kill my kids to leave their house. I've looked into bankruptcy, but that really sucks. So, we just wait for me to get a job - and hope and hope and hope.......
I best get back to studying. It's all multiple choice, so the answers are all there - I just gotta find the right one. I won't even think about how much more school work I have for the next week. Right now, the stress of this test, our impending destitution, and my constant pain, is plenty for right now.
No comments:
Post a Comment